Bryan Starchman

Bryan Starchman grew up in the small foothill town of Mariposa, CA., just outside of Yosemite National Park. He began writing short stories in the first grade and fell in love with screenwriting in high school. Soon he tried his hand at playwriting. At UCLA, he spent four years honing his craft. There, he won the UCLA playwriting award for his satire on fraternity life. Unfortunately Bryan and Los Angeles went together like Elizabeth Taylor and husbands -- it just wasn’t meant to be. Now he lives in Mariposa where every night he plays the ukulele with his dogs Maggie and Luna. He teaches English and Drama at his old high school. His plays have been produced over 2000 times in all 50 states and Puerto Rico, in 9 out of 10 Canadian Provinces (come on Prince Edward Island!) and around the world in Mexico, England, Italy, Dubai of the United Arab Emirates, South Africa, Nigeria, and Portugal. He has also collaborated with fellow Eldridge playwright and composer Stephen Murray to create "Just Another High School Musical" and "Parents Just Don't Understand: The Musical." In 2018 he was the recipient of the NBC RISE grant beating out nearly 1,000 other schools and his drama program was featured coast to coast on The Today Show. More information at www.bryanstarchman.com

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  Just Another Audition New Release

Comedy by Bryan Starchman

66 pages

Flexible cast of 6 to 34


Here's a comedy that takes the audience backstage to witness the worst high school auditions EVER where anything that can go wrong, does go wrong! An overzealous assistant director and a slacker stage manager, along with a wacky group of wannabe actors, are left to cast their senior show themselves. The student assistant director has big aspirations, so big in fact they are convinced the show’s success could be their golden ticket to college...and maybe even Broadway! What follows is a rollicking show full of accidental auditions, movie and pop culture hits r...

  Just Another High School Play

Comedy by Bryan Starchman

73 pages

Minimum cast of 10 plus drama teacher, maximum of 40


Here's a comedy that covers nearly every angle of the typical high school play with a dose of history and improvisation thrown in for good measure! A group of actors, who have apparently been abandoned by their drama teacher, have to fend for themselves opening night in front of a live audience. Their teacher has left them hanging because no one has been showing up to rehearsals and no one is really quite sure what they are supposed to do. The student assistant director and the stage manager step in, find a box of scripts which they pass out to the cast, and ...

  Parents Just Don't Understand

Comedy by Bryan Starchman

63 pages

Minimum of 5 with doubling: 2 m, 2 w, 1 flexible.


The hip-hop standard of the 1980s said it best: "There's no need to argue, parents just don't understand!" Here is a collection of hilarious (and often too close to the truth) scenes that all families are going to be able to relate to. This easy-to-stage comedy is a lighthearted look at a "greatest hit list" of classic family moments. Remember when Dad tried to teach you to drive? Or Mom decided that she would help pick out your wardrobe? How about those family vacations when you were stuck in the backseat for hours on end with your annoying sibling, headed f...

  Stuck at Home

Comedy by Bryan Starchman

60 pages

Minimum 4 m, 2 w, 2 flexible, 2 offscreen voices. Maximum 15 m, 13 w, 2 flexible, 3 offscreen voices.


Join this hilarious family as they struggle to endure being stuck at home – together! Why is the WiFi out, and will their old-school solutions work when all the needed cords are missing from the junk drawer? Will the family secure two-ply rolls of toilet paper in trade negotiations with Grandma? Wait… what has each of them been using? How many family game nights can teens endure? How are the pets holding up? What foods (or beverages!) are critical enough to make a special run to the grocery store? How do first dates and book clubs work while social distancing...

  No Signs of Intelligent Life

Comedy by Bryan Starchman

68 pages

Widely flexible from 5 to 29


If you think you’ve suffered too many awkward moments or been in the dark in conversations, just think how poor, innocent aliens feel! Hungry to fit in, (a little too hungry at times!) they do and say things that we humans aren't allowed to. Join in the laughter as these extraterrestrials meet all kinds of humans -- teenagers, rednecks, survivalists and the most enigmatic, tech support nerds. Will these hapless aliens be able to figure out the daily rituals of dating, gossiping at the water cooler, camping, or even fixing our computers? The aliens have the kn...

  The Pitch

Comedy by Bryan Starchman

28 pages

Widely flexible from 4-20 actors


A young, hungry writer in Hollywood finally has his chance to pitch his original ideas for movies, television shows, and commercials to a major producer. The writer’s ideas come to life on stage as he tries to sell one -- just one -- of his many wacky ideas. Consider (and laugh) as the writer presents previews of a big-budget movie entitled “Thumb Wars”; a reality show about mailmen called “Going Postal”; a game show with the revolting title “Guess What I Just Ate for Dinner”; and even a commercial for a new sports drink called “H2MayO: The First Drinkable Ma...

  The High-Schooler's Guide to the Galaxy

Comedy by Bryan Starchman

60 pages

15 to 40 actors


Four students stare out at the audience. Tomorrow they start their freshman year of high school. There are so many things to worry about: class schedules, bullies, cafeteria food, dating, parents’ expectations, what to wear, and worst of all … gym class! These students need a survival guide and that’s exactly what this play attempts to do with hilariously embarrassing and awkward results. Watch as our guides take us through the gauntlet that is high school. Find out the appropriate way to boogie down at high school dances, discover creative ways to get out of...

  Born to Be Wild

Comedy by Bryan Starchman

62 pages

Widely flexible cast of 32. (Minimum: 2 m, 1 w, 2 flexible.)


Ever wonder why your cat acts like he's king of the world? Or why flamingos stand on one leg? Have you ever imagined what a spider would have to say to a fly just before devouring him, or what "small talk" sounds like when a cannibalistic female praying mantis goes on a date with a naive male praying mantis? Well, Bryan Starchman has given the animals of the world a voice in this hilarious comedy. Focusing on simple costumes and sets, a large flexible cast, and ten whacky scenes, your audience will get to see and hear what animals really think about us humans...

  Just Another High School Musical

Comedy Musical by Starchman and Murray Bryan Starchman Stephen Murray

72 pages

Widely flexible cast 10 – 40, plus drama teacher


A group of high school actors, abandoned by their drama teacher for good reason, have to fend for themselves opening night in front of a live audience. Their first song, “We Apologize in Advance,” shows just how unprepared they are! The student assistant director and the stage manager find a box of scripts which they pass out to the cast, and try to throw something together. What follows is a rollicking show full of physical comedy, gags, and satirical re-writings from Shakespeare (“Life Is Like a Snow Globe”) to Louisa May Alcott (“Dress Them Up in Drag”). E...

  Just Another Snow Day

Comedy by Bryan Starchman

71 pages

5 m, 6 w, 18 flexible or with doubling 3 m, 3 w


Snow day! In this collection of hilarious scenes we see how an unexpected day off from school can be an answer to a prayer…or not! Sweethearts Mark and Jessica aren’t feeling very sweet when, after a whole night of decorating the gym, the winter homecoming dance is canceled. Meanwhile, Paul is thrilled to get an invitation from Mary to go sledding, if only his overprotective mother will chill. Then there’s poor Julie – will she ever figure out how to get her tongue unstuck from the frozen flagpole? Woven throughout the many scenes, Trenton, a student, and Mr....

  The Survivor and Other Urban Legends

Horror by Bryan Starchman

34 pages

Widely flexible cast, minimum of 7 actors


This is a whirlwind tour of many of the famous and infamous urban legends we’ve grown up hearing and fearing. It then delves deeper, dramatizing in chilling detail, “The Survivor.” The sole survivor of a plane crash, a man has lost his only love, but while the other bodies have been retrieved, hers will never be found. After leaving the show you will definitely feel the need to check the back seat of your car and look under your bed before going to sleep; but beware of your dreams because these spooky tales will stick with you for quite some time. (This one-a...

  Exposé: Holiday Celebrities Tell All!

Comedy Holiday by Bryan Starchman

41 pages

13 m, 11 w, 4 flexible, extras, much doubling possible


Every month many look to their calendars and start counting down the days until the next holiday. But what about those who are working behind the scenes to make these holidays great? What about the everyday problems of Cupid, leprechauns, and the New Year's Baby? Do we ever stop to think about their needs? Their wants? No! And that's why they're on strike. Journey through the bizarre, strange, and riotously funny underbelly of the holiday world as the icons we all know and love go on strike in this comedy. See what happens when hunters try to shoot down Rudol...