Pat Cook

Pat Cook got his first taste of seeing his work in print while still in high school in Frankston, Texas, writing for the school paper. Then, during the summers, he wrote a column for his hometown newspaper. It wasn't until college, however, when he saw the movie version of Neil Simon's "The Odd Couple" that he decided to try his hand at writing plays. His first one-act, "The Boys in the Halls," a play about dorm life, was produced at Lon Morris Junior College in 1968 and has since vanished in some forgotten trash can. After moving to Houston he soon found other writing assignments at AstroWorld and in educational radio, night clubs and local television. His first play was published six years later. Still, writing was only a sideline along with several other odd jobs, which included playing piano in pizza parlors, acting in local commercials, industrial films and on stage, building scenery and selling pianos and organs. However, more plays got published and along the way, his wife, Rose Ann, taught him the joys of using a computer. This, coupled with his conviction to everything else and write full time, proved to be a turning point in his life. He has more than a hundred plays published by seven publishers. Many of these plays have been translated into Dutch and German. Further, he is also published in Eldridge's religious drama catalog (www.95church.com). He firmly believes that old saying, "The harder I work, the luckier I get," and that everyone has a story to tell, a dream to pursue. "And, believe me, if I can do it, anybody can!"

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  The Little Town of Christmas

Christmas Comedy Holiday by Pat Cook

68 pages

Flexible cast of 15 to 50


Here's a comedy package of 12 yuletide sketches just perfect to give your audience for an evening's entertainment this Christmas! Everybody in the little town of Christmas is friendly and funny and you'll meet them all, including Skeezix and Sylvester, an elf comedy team that is short in stature and long in laughter; Dancer, the reindeer with a whacky sense of humor; Mrs. Claus, the REAL boss of the outfit; and a hilarious street corner Santa, tested and almost bested by one tough little kid with a sticky sucker. Also included are old favorite stories such as...

  You Can't Beat the House

Comedy by Pat Cook

68 pages

4 m, 6 w


"I've had trouble breaking into a house before but this is the first time I've had problems breaking OUT again!" So moans Merle to his partner, Howie. These two minor-league burglars have really met their match this time, it seems. They decided on a house only to find, after managing to get into the place, that it's up for sale and before they can leave, Conrad and Glenda, prospective buyers, show up. Merle figures they have two choices - either pretend to be real estate agents or beat it, making the buyers suspect them and call in the police. Merle begins to...

  Barbecuing Hamlet

Farce by Pat Cook

69 pages

5 to 6 m, 7 w


Wouldn't it be great fun to direct William Shakespeare's "Hamlet"? That was what Margo Daley always thought...until she is hired to do just that by the Peaceful Glen Memorial Players in their theater, a renovated funeral home. They DO have a couple of conditions, however. Margo has to make the play a melodrama, so the audience will know when to throw the popcorn. And they can't be too loud because the lady who lives under the theater bangs her cane on the stage. Oh, and Margo has to insert the sponsors' names into the play and, by the way, has to take place i...

  Every Little Crook and Nanny

Comedy by Pat Cook

65 pages

4 m, 5 w, 1 boy


Lillie Scones is a sweet retired nanny who runs a boarding house with one resident and "a cat the size of the Louisiana Purchase." Her two friends, Jocelyn and Carmella, help to pass the time by listening to music and gossiping. Then Stuart, an old charge of hers, rents a room. Lillie is tickled to have him around again, not knowing he is planning on robbing the bank on the corner. Stuart's mind may not be totally on the bank job, however, when he meets Betty. However, when Stuart finds out that Betty is about to graduate from an academy on the very night the...

  The Hitchin' Post

Comedy by Pat Cook

59 pages

6 m, 5 w


Everybody knows that whatever you need, you can find it at Hurley Squonk's general store, the Hitchin' Post. Run by Hurley himself, who is always behind the counter, this sort of "everything store" serves as a meeting place for the locals. There's Pinch Burdett, who spends all his time hawking his wife's jams and making up stories; Mrs. Bastrop, a feisty lady who got thrown out of the town's softball tournament; and Gloria, or "Glow Worm," a romantic teen who camps out at Hurley's magazine stand. But the normal, laid-back pace changes when a young couple from...

  Dead Giveaway

Comedy Mystery by Pat Cook

69 pages

1 m, 6 w


"If there's any skeletons in the closet, I'll find them!" states Angie, who then opens a closet and has a skeleton literally fly in her face. This is one of the many surprises that faces the undercover police woman who just took on a job as a "domestic engineer," hired by Dr. Hugh Bernard to "find out what's going on." Five elderly spinsters live in the same house and all, apparently, hate each other. And what a group. There's Evelyn, who keeps acting out death scenes for Fiona, who's writing some sort of novel. Then there's Catherine, who keeps alluding to h...

  Murder Runs in the Family

Comedy Mystery by Pat Cook

64 pages

5 m, 7 w


Heather Pallfeather is a modern-day damsel in distress whose stepfather just kicked the bucket. Or did somebody kick it for him? With this crazy family it's hard to tell! To get some straight answers she hires Jack Sparks, a private eye, to act as her fiance and accompany her to the estate for the reading of the will. Sparks thinks himself a pretty shrewd cookie...until the lights go out and he starts to crumble. Throw in the mother who gets lost in her own house, a cousin who's married to a known convict, interchangeable twins, a stepsister who's looking for...

  If the Good Lord's Willing and the Creek Don't Rise

Comedy by Pat Cook

68 pages

4 m, 5 w


This zany comedy, in the spirit of Kaufman and Hart, centers on Doc, an eccentric old man whose house caters to all sorts of characters. Now a retired judge, he spends his days “enjoying life.” When he’s not flying around the countryside in his balloon or fishing in a nearby dry riverbed, he works on his books of nonsense. This prompts his daughter, Charlotte, to decide he’s lost his marbles. So, conspiring with a sly lawyer, she plans to not only become his guardian but also sell his house and property. Throw in a psychologist on her first case, love sick te...

  Not a Creature Was Stirring

Christmas Comedy Holiday by Pat Cook

69 pages

4 m, 5 w


Missing the Christmas spirit? Has the Yuletide you up in knots? Then subscribe to the Herald Tribune, where editor J.J. Garnes makes sure he uses the holiday to his own advantage, whether it be to expose the crooked mayor or sell a few more issues with just the right angle. And he thinks he finds that angle when he receives a letter from a small boy who "don't want no more Christmases." Delilah and Sarah, Garnes' assistants, are equally cynical until they find a "Wish Moose," a Christmas ornament that grants their fondest wishes. Do they believe? It's up to B...

  Legend Of Robin Hood...Sort Of

Comedy by Pat Cook

62 pages

5 m, 5 w, 3 flexible parts, and extras


Would you like to hear the legend of Robin Hood? If your answer is "I Sherwood," then hitch up your gauntlets and get ready to laugh. You see, it's a little-known fact that the famous English bandit was a bit of a klutz. As a kid he practiced with a bow and violin instead of a bow and arrow, so naturally to fight the king's injustices he needed his famous band of women. Women? That's what you get when you send Little John to do the recruiting! But just as the ladies are persuaded that after they steal from the rich they have to give the goodies to the poor, R...

  New Kid on the Block

Comedy by Pat Cook

71 pages

3 m, 4 w


Carl, Lloyd and Parker, three older gentlemen who share a large home, need to rent out their fourth bedroom to help with the rent. Their problem seems answered when Will shows up...except Will turns out to be a lady. While Lloyd and Parker like her and want to vote her in, Carl barks back, "We're not voting on prom queen!" Carl's reaction is all part of a plan with Will, his sister, to let her live with them for a while. Before the brother and sister can reveal their plotting, however, the "fun" begins. It's all over the area that Carl and Will are sweetheart...

  The Man Who Wanted to Be Santa

Comedy With Heart by Pat Cook

76 pages

5 m, 5 w, 1 girl


“Who IS that guy?” That’s what they’re asking each other at the local police station when Santa Claus shows up handing out gifts. This Santa seems to know them all so well…but they haven’t a clue who he is. It’s not like they haven’t seen people dressed for the holidays, especially since Earlene visits costumed first as an elf and then as a big bunny. Even Chief Culpepper has been known to don the Santa suit. As if this weren’t enough to keep them guessing, state investigator Russell Brooks arrives to check on some irregularities. It doesn’t take long for Bro...