Scott Haan

Scott Haan has been a fixture in theatre in Indiana his entire life, from performing in children’s productions to high school musicals to community theatre as an "adult" (to use the term loosely). He has participated in dozens of productions as an actor, stage manager and director. Scott graduated from Purdue University with a B.A. in creative writing. In 2006, he finally achieved a long-time goal by trying his hand at playwriting for the first time, and found immediate encouragement when his first three scripts were chosen for production by three different local theatre groups and subsequently published. Since then, he has written over two dozen plays, and his work has been performed by more than 750 schools and theatre groups in the U.S., Canada, South Africa, Germany, Japan and the U.K. Scott and his wife and two kids still reside in Indiana...at least until the extradition goes through.
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  Superfreaks

Comedy by Scott Haan

67 pages

3 m, 3 w


Lois Lancaster is a big-city journalist writing about the current state of mental health facilities. Her research takes her to a hospital populated with a unique group of quirky inmates who imagine they are crime-fighting superheroes. Speed Freak thinks he can run at incredible speeds, while Dim Bulb, the most enthusiastic person on the face of the earth, thinks he has the ability to turn off lights with his brain. Mental thinks she can read minds, despite being prone to sudden outbursts of bizarre non-sequiturs. Kevin, much less quirky and flamboyant than th...

  Superhero Sanitarium

Comedy by Scott Haan

41 pages

3 m, 3 w


Lois Lancaster is a big-city journalist writing about the current state of mental health facilities. Her research takes her to a hospital populated with a unique group of quirky inmates who imagine they are crime-fighting superheroes. Speed Freak thinks he can run at incredible speeds, while enthusiastic Dim Bulb thinks he has the ability to turn off lights with his brain. Mental thinks she can read minds, despite being prone to sudden outbursts of bizarre non-sequiturs. Kevin, much less quirky and flamboyant than the other inmates, doesn’t embarrass himself ...

  Annie Play Will Do

Comedy by Scott Haan

51 pages

7 m, 8 w, 2 flexible


Because of a miscommunication with the principal, high school drama teacher Mr. Morris finds himself with only ONE DAY to cast, stage and perform the school play. In desperation, he turns to two of his best students, Paul and Laura, to take charge and co-direct the show, unaware that the two are in the middle of a nasty break-up and are no longer speaking. Things go from bad to much, much worse when Paul and Laura, practicing with their friends independently, don't realize they are rehearsing for DIFFERENT SHOWS, "Little Orphan Annie" and "Annie Get Your Gun....

  Insane With Power

Comedy by Scott Haan

67 pages

3 m, 3 w


Lois Lancaster is a big-city journalist writing about the current state of mental health facilities. Her research takes her to a hospital populated with a unique group of quirky inmates who imagine they are crime-fighting superheroes. Speed Freak thinks he can run at incredible speeds, while Dim Bulb, the most enthusiastic person on the face of the earth, thinks he has the ability to turn off lights with his brain. Mental thinks she can read minds, despite being prone to sudden outbursts of bizarre non-sequiturs. Kevin, much less quirky and flamboyant than th...

  Attack Clown Dentist Zombies

Comedy by Scott Haan

36 pages

13 - 22 plus extras


Susan and Xander patiently sit through their dad’s meeting, a gathering of local dentists, where it is decided that the best way to keep patients from being scared of regular checkups is for the dentists to dress as clowns while working. Refreshments are offered, but deciding to not eat Bernice Hoffenbridle’s cookies might be the best decision the kids have ever made, especially when they hear that her new bakery is conveniently located right between the nuclear waste treatment plant and the experimental chemistry lab. But the adult dentists do indulge in the...

  Penny for Your Thoughts

Comedy by Scott Haan

83 pages

3 m and 7 w (With optional extended ending: 7 m and 8 w)


Penny Ramsey is a young woman who, like all of us, has different sides to her personality. They are personified in the story by comically stereotypical characters, collectively known as the Egos. The five Egos make up her decision-making process, which gets a lot more complicated when Penny overhears only one side of her boyfriend Matt’s phone conversation and believes he has betrayed her. It’s a stressful time for Penny, made even more confusing by the introduction of a potential new suitor named Rick and the nosy involvement of Penny’s mother (and Matt’s bo...

  The School Spirit

Comedy by Scott Haan

35 pages

Flexible cast. Approx. 2 m, 7 w, 2 flexible.


Faith and Ivy are best friends for life…and beyond. On the surface, they don’t have much in common. One is respectful, the other sarcastic. One is studious, the other a troublemaker. One is a friendly actress, the other a reclusive poet. And, oh yeah, one is alive, the other, not so much. Ivy has been dead for weeks, and only Faith can still see or hear her. How can a ghost help Faith achieve her goal of landing the lead in the school play? And for that matter, why is Ivy still hanging around, anyway?

  Where Should We Eat?

Comedy by Scott Haan

38 pages

2 m, 4 w, 2 flex and optional extras


Every day, we make a thousand choices that might not seem important at the time, but who knows which one has the potential to change the course of our entire life? Three high school friends, Summer, Victoria and Ariel, are simply choosing a place to eat that night, but where they end up might set their futures on very different paths. Explore four possible scenarios springing from the same mundane decision in this comedy/drama about friendship, destiny, and the surprises life has to offer.

  Speed Dating Nightmare

Comedy by Scott Haan

31 pages

From 5 - 13 actors.


Speed dating is a great way for singles to meet other people. Each "date" only lasts a few minutes, and if it doesn't work out, you can hope the next one will be better. For Cindy, those minutes feel like an eternity as she is subjected to a seemingly endless parade of jerks and losers. First there’s Marcus, whose questions seem more like an interrogation; then Trevor, whose career motivation extends only to getting the next new video game. Third is Scissor, an artistic man with an inflated sense of ego, followed by Ernest, a socially awkward guy who thinks s...

  Penny for Your Thoughts

Comedy by Scott Haan

52 pages

3 m, 7 w (With optional extended ending: 7 m, 8 w)


Penny Ramsey is a young woman who, like all of us, has different sides to her personality. They are personified in the story by comically stereotypical characters, collectively known as the Egos. The five Egos make up her decision-making process, which gets a lot more complicated when Penny overhears only one side of her boyfriend Matt’s phone conversation and believes he has betrayed her. It’s a stressful time for Penny, made even more confusing by the introduction of a potential new suitor named Rick and the nosy involvement of Penny’s mother (and Matt’s bo...

  Wage Warfare

Comedy by Scott Haan

75 pages

2 - 3 m, 4 w


If you've ever had a job, or wished you hadn't, this office comedy is for you. Even on a good day, tensions run high in the customer service department of The Treasure Chest because of two female coworkers who can't stand each other, and a third who is constantly stuck in the middle. But when a chance for a promotion suddenly appears, all three women find themselves fighting for the job, although they don't all fight fair. Will the promotion go to daydreamer Hope, saintly Bonnie, or snarky Louise? A madhouse free-for-all of schemes, sabotage and unlikely alli...

  Hex Marks the Spot

Comedy by Scott Haan

40 pages

4 m, 4 w, 5 flexible, plus 1 extra optional female


Jean Emery is a normal high school girl whose world gets turned upside down when she receives a surprising letter in the mail from her eccentric aunt. The letter claims that Jean has magical powers and the ability to grant wishes. Jean dismisses it as a joke, but unfortunately, her rival gets possession of the letter and plans to use it to blackmail her. Neither one believes for a moment that the crazy story in the letter could possibly be true -- or what kind of disasters could happen if everybody were to suddenly get exactly what they wished for!