Adapted by Burton Bumgarner From the short story by H.H. Munro (Saki). When an old friend invites Jake, a science writer for a newspaper, to spend a weekend at a gathering of prize-winning scientists, he sees a way to write an impressive article and move on to being a sports writer, his real goal. At the gathering we meet a botanist, who has invented a rapidly growing vine that the Defense Department can use as a weapon of mass destruction; a systems engineer, who has invented a new software language only engineers can learn; a physicist, who has written a textbook that is a combination of quantum physics and a romance novel; and a zoologist who has learned to teach cats to speak English. When challenged to prove her linguistic feat, she presents the house cat, Tobermory. Unfortunately, the cat has overheard the disparaging and underhanded comments the scientists have made about each other, and he repeats them for all to hear. When they realize that Tobermory can teach other cats to speak, and that, much to their surprise, cats aren't very nice, the group decides to take desperate actions against the cat, and against Jake!