I Can't Go Out There

Play #: 2297
Pages: 37 pgs
Cast: 7 m, 8 w, 3 flexible (minimum with doubling: 2m, 3 w, 3 flexible)
This one-act comedy in four scenes chronicles the different stages of the stage. In elementary school, a frustrated teacher deals with stage fright while trying to direct young children in a play about jackrabbits and a mean old dog. In middle school, two students who've been cast as Romeo and Juliet realize that the play is a love story, and that kissing may be involved! In high school, a teacher is holding auditions for a production of "Anne of Green Gables." Actors audition with a rather violent monologue from "Titus Andronicus," a rap version of the soliloquy from "Julius Caesar," a gothic version of Poe's "The Raven." In a community theater production the lead actor is missing and the understudy is totally unprepared for going on stage, recalling his elementary school role as a jackrabbit. Everyone --actors, wanna-be actors and audience members alike --will identify with these characters who are ready (or not!) to step out on stage.
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Productions

Western Harnett High School 2 Performance(s)
Lillington, NC 11/2/2018
EPPLER JUNIOR HIGH 1 Performance(s)
TROY, MI 5/31/2018
CALVARY BAPTIST CHURCH ACADEMY 2 Performance(s)
LAKELAND, FL 5/5/2017
ST. ALBERT HIGH SCHOOL 2 Performance(s)
COUNCIL BLUFFS, IA 1/21/2017
MARYSTOWN CENTRAL HIGH 1 Performance(s)
MARYSTOWN, NL 3/18/2016
SENECA HIGH SCHOOL DRAMA 1 Performance(s)
SENECA, IL 12/11/2015
TIOGA HIGH SCHOOL 1 Performance(s)
TIOGA, ND 11/4/2015
MARY OF LOURDES MIDDLE SCHOOL 2 Performance(s)
LITTLE FALLS, MN 5/15/2015
MADISON HIGH SCHOOL 1 Performance(s)
REXBURG, ID 3/4/2015
DORMAN HIGH SCHOOL 3 Performance(s)
ROEBUCK, SC 2/23/2015
SUMMIT SCHOOL 1 Performance(s)
WINSTON-SALEM, NC 12/12/2014
WELLESLEY MIDDLE SCHOOL 2 Performance(s)
WELLESLEY, MA 11/15/2014
PILOT POINT MIDDLE SCHOOL 1 Performance(s)
PILOT POINT, TX 5/26/2014
KEMPS LANDING MAGNET SCHOOL 1 Performance(s)
VIRGINIA BEACH, VA 3/15/2014
FALLS CITY HIGH SCHOOL 2 Performance(s)
FALLS CITY, NE 11/16/2013
PEET JUNIOR HIGH 2 Performance(s)
CONROE, TX 11/15/2013
POWELL MIDDLE SCHOOL 2 Performance(s)
BROOKSVILLE, FL 4/29/2013
ROYALTON HIGH SCHOOL 2 Performance(s)
ROYALTON, MN 1/26/2013
EPPLER JUNIOR HIGH 2 Performance(s)
TROY, MI 12/17/2012
PESHTIGO PUBLIC SCHOOLS 1 Performance(s)
PESHTIGO, WI 6/28/2012
LOGAN ELM DRAMA CLUB 3 Performance(s)
CIRCLEVILLE, OH 5/15/2012
PAULINE MEMORIAL 1 Performance(s)
COLORADO SPRINGS, CO 5/1/2012
KAFFIE MIDDLE SCHOOL 2 Performance(s)
CORPUS CHRISTI, TX 4/15/2012
INDIAN TRAIL MIDDLE SCHOOL 2 Performance(s)
OLATHE, KS 2/23/2012
MAUMEE VALLEY COUNTRY DAY 1 Performance(s)
TOLEDO, OH 2/16/2012
SOUTH CHARLOTTE M.S. FAN 1 Performance(s)
CHARLOTTE, NC 1/10/2012
NORTHWEST CABARRUS MIDDLE SCHO 2 Performance(s)
CONCORD, NC 1/6/2012
JENNINGS COUNTY HIGH SCHOOL 2 Performance(s)
NORTH VERNON, IN 10/27/2011
BAYTOWN LITTLE THEATER 9 Performance(s)
BAYTOWN, TX 9/9/2011
WHITIN COMMUNITY CENTER 2 Performance(s)
WHITINSVILLE, MA 7/30/2011
O E DUNCKEL MIDDLE SCHOOL 1 Performance(s)
FARMINGTON HILLS, MI 5/15/2011
ALBEMARLE COUNTY PUBLIC SCHOOL 1 Performance(s)
CHARLOTTESVILLE, VA 2/15/2011
RUNNING BRUSHY MIDDLE SCHOOL 1 Performance(s)
CEDAR PARK , TX 5/27/2010
SENECA HIGH SCHOOL DRAMA 1 Performance(s)
SENECA, IL 5/11/2010
EPPLER JR. HIGH 1 Performance(s)
TROY, MI 5/5/2010
TRAFALGAR MIDDLE SCHOOL 1 Performance(s)
CAPE CORAL, FL 4/15/2010
KITTSON CENTRAL DRAMA 1 Performance(s)
HALLOCK, MN 1/15/2010
LONGFELLOW MIDDLE SCHOOL 2 Performance(s)
FALLS CHURCH, VA 11/21/2009
BADIN HIGH SCHOOL 3 Performance(s)
HAMILTON, OH 11/19/2009
CITY OF TUKWILA - P R 2 Performance(s)
TUKWILA , WA 7/17/2009
MONROE HIGH SCHOOL 1 Performance(s)
MONROE, OH 5/21/2009
BURNS HIGH SCHOOL 1 Performance(s)
LAWNDALE, NC 3/27/2009
BURNS HIGH SCHOOL 1 Performance(s)
LAWNDALE, NC 3/26/2009
KEEP CHARLTON BEAUTIFUL 1 Performance(s)
FOLKSTON, GA 3/12/2009
STARKWEATHER SCHOOL 2 Performance(s)
STARKWEATHER, ND 11/6/2008
CALIFORNIA TRAIL JR HIGH SCHL 2 Performance(s)
OLATHE, KS 10/8/2008
DOVER AREA HIGH SCHOOL 1 Performance(s)
DOVER, PA 5/21/2008
EBENEZER MIDDLE SCHOOL 1 Performance(s)
RINCON, GA 5/16/2008
LE JARDIN ACADEMY 2 Performance(s)
KAILUA, HI 5/15/2008
INDIAN TRAILS JR HI 2 Performance(s)
OLATHE, KS 5/2/2008
BOWBELLS HIGH SCHOOL 1 Performance(s)
BOWBELLS, ND 5/1/2008
ST MARKS LUTHERAN CHURCH 1 Performance(s)
CHARLOTTE, NC 4/26/2008
CEDAR RIDGE MIDDLE SCHOOL 1 Performance(s)
HYDE PARK, UT 3/30/2008
FULLER MIDDLE SCHOOL 3 Performance(s)
FRAMINGHAM, MA 12/6/2007
NEBRASKA LUTHERAN HIGH SCHOOL 3 Performance(s)
WACO, NE 11/19/2007
LANGDON AREA HIGH SCHOOL 2 Performance(s)
LANGDON, ND 11/8/2007
SURREY HIGH SCHOOL 2 Performance(s)
SURREY, ND 11/8/2007
CONANT HIGH SCHOOL 1 Performance(s)
RINDGE, NH 11/8/2007
KENMARE HIGH SCHOOL 2 Performance(s)
KENMARE, ND 11/2/2007
PINE VALLEY MIDDLE SCHOOL 2 Performance(s)
SAN RAMON, CA 11/1/2007
PESHTIGO SCHOOL 4 Performance(s)
PESHTIGO, WI 10/20/2007
BATTLE GROUND ACADEMY 2 Performance(s)
FRANKLIN, TN 10/5/2007
SALISBURY HIGH SCHOOL 1 Performance(s)
SALISBURY, NC 4/24/2007
KV 1 Performance(s)
DULLES, VA 4/7/2007
MIDVIEW HIGH SCHOOL 2 Performance(s)
GRAFTON, OH 2/15/2007

Behind The Scenes

PLAYWRIGHT BURTON BUMGARNER

TALKS ABOUT "I CAN'T GO OUT THERE!"

Q: WHAT INSPIRED YOU TO WRITE THIS PLAY?

A: I wanted to write some brief scenes that show different stages of the stage. Directing a production for theater at any level can be challenging, if not terrifying. Here are four scenes: elementary school, middle school, high school, and community theater. Actors and directors deal with stage fright, fear of kissing, strange auditions, and missing cast members. It could be an anxiety dream if it wasn't so funny.

Q: WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE PART OR LINE IN THE PLAY? WHY?

A: I love the "little jackrabbit" scene, because I actually spoke those very lines in a play when I was in the first grade. I don't remember anything else about the play, except my next door neighbor and chief rival at the time got to be the mean old dog, and I was stuck in the supporting role of a jackrabbit. I had a little stage fright when I saw the audience, and I'm sure I barely spoke above a whisper.

I love the audition scene, especially the rapper who does the soliquy from "Julius Caesar," and the girl who wants to sing "Tomorrow" from "Annie" ... even if it doesn't belong in the play.

Q: WHERE DID THE CHARACTERS COME FROM? ARE THEY BASED ON PEOPLE YOU KNOW?

A: The characters are all relatives of mine. Just kidding. Actually, I have no idea where they came from.

Q: WHAT DID YOU TRY TO ACHIEVE WITH THIS PLAY?

A: I want actors and directors to have an easily staged production that's lots of fun, and I want audiences to laugh till they fall out of their seats.

Q: DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING ELSE YOU'D LIKE TO ADD?

A: Someone once said "theater is like making sausage ... it ain't pretty, but the results can be pleasing." Actually, I think I said. it. Someone else has probably said it, too. Or something similar. This play is about what happens before the play begins: from audition to curtain. It's frightening as well as funny. In this play it's mostly funny.